November 26, 2010
If you want to stop childhood obesity why not start by putting recess back in to the elementary school day? That’s an hour a day of exercise that children don’t get any longer. Fifteen minutes each in the morning and the afternoon and thirty minutes at lunch. The teachers spend at least that much time in a day fussing at the kids because they can’t sit still. If I were a teacher MY class would have recess! Purely in self-defense. I’m just saying.
While I’m on the subject…….we have about five sidewalks in our town. If a kid wants to walk anywhere here they have to do it on the side of the road or through someone’s yard. I’m talking about in town, no sidewalks! Who wants their child to walk through downtown traffic in order to get to the park or the recreation areas?
If we want to have healthier children in America we need to facilitate their access to healthy environments. We can’t remove every healthy activity from their lives and then wonder why they are obese.
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Posted by thought4food
August 24, 2008
Today I bow down and worship each and every Superior Being in each and every Heaven that exists everywhere for tomorrow school begins.
I have my kids totally convinced that every year on the first day of school we parents hold a big old throw down. I call it “The Parent’s Party.” I tell them that after they get on the bus and that first bell rings, parents from all over the county start leaving home for the party.
“Where is it?”
“Oh no way, Baby! I’m not telling you THAT information. You’ll start trying to look all hot in front of your school friends and spill the beans.”
“Come on! You’re lying if you won’t tell.”
“Okay, sure. I’m lying then.”
“What do you do?”
“Wouldn’t YOU like to know! Basically we celebrate the fact that you heathens are someone else’s problem for a few hours a day for the next nine months. We sing, we do the “Holy Mother Of God We’re Free Again” dance, we eat. You know, we just celebrate school starting up again.”
“Gammie, you ain’t right, you know that? You just ain’t right!”
Well, they might be correct on that. But come tomorrow morning at 8:05 am eastern daylight time I’ll sure be a whole lot closer to right than I’ve been in a looooong time!
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Posted by thought4food
June 13, 2008
Well, school is out! (insert falsely bright, slightly maniacal grin here) Now I have to make all of these annoying adjustments to my schedule. For instance: during school my morning consists of getting The Buddha out of bed. This takes thirty minutes. Exactly thirty minutes. No more, no less. He takes five-five more minutes-es. Then one five minute long “I AM UP.” After that he emerges from his room and begins his morning ritual that ends with “OMG we have to go or I’ll miss the bus!!!!!” followed by a mad dash for the door.
Fifteen minutes into his getting ready time Princess Bella gets up. Before her feet hit the floor she is arguing about what kind of cereal she wants. She doesn’t necessarily argue with anyone in particular, it is mostly directed into the cosmos. However if you are unfortunate enough to align yourself with her eyes, she will focus on you and you will then become the recipient of her morning venom. Too bad for you today!
Bella’s morning routine consists of being displeased, argumentative, and surly about everything and anything that she can possibly conceive of regardless of whether it has any bearing on school, getting ready for school, on herself, her clothing, her city, state, country, hemisphere, or even her region of the Milky Way. By the time her bus leaves she is usually screaming bloody murder that she absolutely MUST HAVE THAT AXE HANDLE FOR SCHOOL HER TEACHER SAID SO!!!!
And so we begin another lovely before school day! 🙂
By the time they are both safely on the bus, exactly one and one half hours have gone by and it is time for my nap!
Oh, but now school is out. They will not be getting on a bus. They will be performing all of the above and then………*sob*……… STAYING HERE ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream. I’m trying very hard to maintain an aura of calm. I mean it’s only been two days, right? It can’t be all that bad! And The Buddha spent both days with friends. I’ve only had Princess Bella since school let out.
Yesterday I decided that it would be okay to just lay down and rest my eyes for a bit. That’s what we call a nap down here in the south. We rest our eyes. So, I found Bella a good TV show, ( I know, TV isn’t a babysitter, it IS however a great diversionary technique, so yall just shush up!) and I lay down to “rest my eyes” for a few minutes. After a bit I felt her giving me sweet little kisses. Awwww! That was so sweet. Especially since just a little while earlier she had been screaming at a glass shattering decibel about how she had to put mascara on the puppies.
I relaxed into a nice soothing eye rest. Oh yall! It was so nice. After about twenty minutes a knock came on the door. This creates an earth shattering hell cracking chaos in my house that you would not believe. DeeDee goes apeshit, which makes the puppies go apeshit, which makes Bella start hollering at them and at me, which makes me start yelling at them all to shut the hell up, which makes them all redouble their efforts because they sense my distress. It’s annoying to say the least.
It was the mailman. After getting all the cutthroat varmints out of the vicinity of the door, I opened it to see what he wanted. He looked at me in a mighty odd way. I figured my eye resting must have made my eyes puffy or something. I smiled and his eyes got all round and he kinda stuttered and said I had a package too big for the box. He handed me all my stuff, I thanked him, he backed up and still staring at me all wierd, he left. I was thinking that I must look really bad, I went to look in the mirror.
WTF???? Princess Bella……Dear Dear Princess Satan’s Spawn Bella. Those were NOT sweet little kisses. Those were skull, froggie, princess, ect,ect, stickers all over my face! Holy crap! She had plastered my freakin face with stickers while I slept…….er…….I mean while I was resting my eyes!
And here I am standing at the damn door with the mailman like it’s normal as apple pie to have stickers all over my face while I take the mail from him! ROFLMAO. And I’m wondering why HE is looking so funny at ME!!!!!!!!
So the moral of this story is…….summer is long. They are younger than you. Never turn your back on them!
4 Comments | Children, Funny Story, Kids, School, Summer | Tagged: mailman, school is out, stickers | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
January 15, 2008
My kids tell me all kinds of stuff that’s new to me. Take for instance “Emo” kids. Emo? WTF is that? Someone who is always sad is the short explanation. Hmmm. I’d probably suck at that.
It would be just my luck that I would decide that it was my desire to make my mark in life by being an Emo girl. Then the very next day I would wake up all happy and shit! DAMMIT! Then I would have to shoot my dog just to get into the right mood for the day! Crap! How much work would that be? The PETA people would be all over me in no time!
Ok, how about going Goth? I could do that, right? I’ll go buy all black clothes, and white and black make up. I’ll never have any more wrinkles because I never have to have any more facial expressions. Of course, I’d screw up on laundry day trying to get a stain out and bleach my black goth clothes into some kind of wicked tie dyed horror, which would make me laugh so hard I cried and mess up my white caked on make up and run my black eyeliner. So, no goth for me either. *sigh*
Well, there’s always the Plastics. They’re the Uber Preps. They rule the school. They’re better than everyone. Everything they have, say, wear, eat, and do is better just because they have, say, wear, eat and do it. But dear GOD that is SO much work and I am ever so lazy at heart. Besides, my “Some call it stalking……I call it Love” Tee and blue jeans are my uniform. I will jump over 20 stylish outfits for 1 comfortable one every time. So, no Plastics for me either.
I just thank all the powers that be that I don’t have to make all those decisions anymore! I did my time baby! I paid my dues to that heartless crowd! I grew UP! I graduated high school! I’m outtie!
And I’m damn glad of it too, cuz to be completely honest, those guys scare me!
2 Comments | Blog, Crack house humor, Humor, humour, Kids, School, Teenagers | Tagged: Emo, goth, high school, Kids, middle school, plastics, preps, style | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
January 12, 2008
I miss the old days. I mean back before everyone became numb-skulls.
Back when you dealt with bullies by having someone bigger and/or meaner than them just beat their asses for them. A nice big dose of whoop ass is a really good cure for the vast majority of that kind of crap. The certain knowledge that what goes around comes around has stopped a good many mean ass kids in their tracks.
*SIGH* Unfortunately, time marches on and those days are gone. Now we have to be ever so careful how we handle these things. We have to treat torturer and victim alike with kid gloves. It’s my own personal opinion that that is a crock of shit. I back this up with the recent rash of school shootings.
I believe that if the victims of school yard bullies had just been able to beat the holy living shit out of the people who were victimizing them, the shootings would never have happened. There are several reasons for this: There is no shame is having your ass whipped in a fair fight, there is a definite release of pent up aggression when you’re allowed to fight, and you aren’t continually feeling victimized by both the person who is victimizing you as well as everyone who watches what he/she is doing and does nothing to stop it.
As things go now, if you try to deal with a bully in that time honored fashion, you will be arrested, taken to jail, be booked, go to trial, and have a record. This is all because someone else took it upon themselves to mentally, emotionally, and probably physically abuse you! Something is drastically wrong with this picture. This kind of abuse is an assault. Just because it isn’t necessarily a physical assault makes no difference. Physical wounds heal far faster than mental or emotional ones.
I think we should go back to the old days and old ways. As a friend of mine used to say at the bar when people started scrapping: If you don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit.
3 Comments | Abuse, Blogroll, Child Abuse, Crazy, Kids, School, Thoughts | Tagged: Bullies, fight, fighting, victim | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
October 4, 2007
Life is perception. How we perceive an event is our reality of it. One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. What you perceive as meaningless, someone else might perceive as the most meaningful thing in their life. Pay attention to how those important to you perceive the events in your lives. It counts.
Inaction is an action all by itself. It indicates indifference on a massive scale.
Why in the hell would anyone in this country with even ONE functioning brain cell think that Hillary Clinton would make a good president? This is a woman whose self esteem is so low that she stayed with a man who cheated on her in front of the entire world on more than one occasion. This can only mean one thing: He will pay in front of the entire world, and he will pay big! So, let’s put her in the White House????? Is she planning on giving her VP a BJ on TV during a State of the Nation Address? (Do you think I used enough acronyms in that sentence?) Women who stick around after being treated that way have one thing in mind: revenge. If Bill is smart (I know, I know, but it’s only a figure of speech) he would do something searingly outrageous and destroy her chances. It might save his life. And speaking as a woman myself, I can tell you this: Hillary remembers every one of you who have screwed her over. You might not even be aware that you did. *see paragraph one* And you will not get away unscathed either. Kenneth Star, I’m especially talking to YOU! She will smile for the cameras while she is listening in her earpiece to them tell her that the “package” has been deposited. That will be you in the East River wearing a pair of cement overshoes, going to sleep with the fishes. But only after she has caused them to make you scream like a girl. Think about it guys. Women are by far more vicious than men will ever be. And we never forget a slight. We certainly never forgive one. Putting Hillary Clinton in the White House is like dressing up Brittney Spears and putting HER in the White House. Sounds good, don’t it?
I wonder if the people that Blackwater were hired to guard and protect in Iraq want them gone? I haven’t heard anyone ask them. I haven’t heard any of them say. I would love to hear the answer to those questions. I also wonder who it was that Blackwater had with them at the time of the last big incident that caused all this hooohaaa. I hate magicians because I feel like misdirection is inherently dishonest. So this last big deal over Blackwater makes me wonder who was there and why all the fingers are pointing in so many different directions, but no one is saying who was with them.
Why are children always at their most obnoxious when my head hurts?#$%^&*
What parents say and what kids hear are two completely different things. example: Me-“Hi Honey, how was your day?”
Them-“Why R U gettin all up in my KoolAid?” That wasn’t a good exchange at all was it? We had no exchange of information, no exchange of pleasantries at all. That’s because what they hear is not what we said.
Me-how was your day translation: What did you do that was wrong or that I’m going to get a call from your school about before the day is through?
No wonder the response is so vehement! I have no solution for this distortion as yet, however I am working on it and as soon as I perfect the formula, I will put it on a paid programming commercial at 4:45am and you too can have it for 6 easy payments of JUST $19.95 plus shipping and handling!
When we were kids our dad used to wake us up every morning and whip us before he went to work. He did this because he knew that before he got home that night we would have done something to deserve it. He was right. I’m thinking about reviving that old tradition. Either that, or take up drinking. I’m not really sure which way I’m going to go yet. I’m leaning towards the whipping, but I’m not sure I could stand all that whining and crying. But after the first time or two, I’d probably cowboy up and stop doing that. On the other hand, drinking would be so much less work for me. *sigh* decisions, decisions
Leave a Comment » | America, Blog, Blogging, Blogroll, Children, Crack house humor, Crazy, Daily Life, Family, Freedom, Friends, Friendship, Funny, Funny Story, Help, Home, Humor, humour, Kids, laughter, life, Random, Reminiscences, Rights, School, Seeing Red, Self, Self awareness, Self realization, Teenagers, Thoughts, True Story, Uncategorized, Whining | Tagged: , bill clinton, Blackwater, brittney spears, cement overshoes, drinking, east river, formula, hillary clinton, inaction, indifference, kenneth starr, koolaid, payments, perception, School, whipping, white house | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
September 22, 2007
Okay, that’s it for the sappy emotion.
I’ve moved. I’m now living in a house on top of a hill. It’s harder than I thought it would be, this not being a slob and all. When you have a nice house you sorta feel like you should keep it nice. My own expectations are exhausting me.
But it’s all bright and white and neat and shit. And it’s out in the open and the sun shines on me all the time. Except when the sun doesn’t shine on me. Then it’s only partly light. Or else it’s dark. That happens at some point every day. Go figger. Still, it’s very……(I’m searching for an appropriate word here)…..happifying! That’s a word, right?
I’ve started walking in the mornings after I put Miss Bella and His Highness the Buddha on the bus for school. *giggle* School. I love school. Anyway, I’ve been trying to get some exercise. It seems to be working pretty well. If you don’t count the fact that for the past 3 or 4 days I haven’t really been able to walk. My hip ballooned up and my jaw on the same side did the same thing. I had a tooth cut out there recently. Seriously, you’ve missed a lot. But I seem to be um, infected. EW! I KNOW! It’s all gross sounding to me too.
I’m thinking that I might just be allergic to all that healthy crap. Honest. See, I wasn’t brought up that way. We were brought up to be filthy dirty little heathens! That’s right, Mom! I’m tellin all the family secrets right here! We didn’t use hand sanitizer! We drank sodas ALL THE TIME! We ate the fat on our meat! OH YES WE DID! We ate bacon OFTEN! I SMOKE! We drank! And…..you might want to sit down for this one….sometimes we still do! We used copious amounts of salt on our food. We played in dirt. We played with our friends when they had colds. We did not know our physicians and their office personnel on a first name basis because we went so often. As a matter of fact, we went to the doctor’s office so seldom, that a visit there frightened us to bits! Uh huh that’s right.
I had my first X-ray when I was 14 years old! And I was so terrified that I thought I would puke! I have had many broken bones that were not set. I have had broken bones that I never went to the doctor for at all. We ate burgers from Louie’s! We followed the 5 second rule. We drank from water fountains, not water bottles. Sometimes we drank from water hoses too. If our ice cream fell out of the cone, we picked it up, scraped off whatever trash we could see, and plopped that bad boy back on the cone and ate away! No sense wasting the perfectly good part of a cone over a little bit of trash! Sheesh!
We ate food handled by people who never wore gloves except in the winter when it was really really cold. But never when they were touching our food. We sometimes faked washing our hands before we ate. We walked barefoot from the first snow until the first thaw. And truth be told, if it wasn’t for caffeine and nicotine I would be in a coma.
But until I started trying to be more “healthy” I was in fact healthy as the proverbial horse. The healthier I tried to live, the unhealthier I became.
I developed……….(insert doomsday music here) MS. My theory is this. As I started to live a more healthy lifestyle, my hyped up immune system had less and less legitimate work to do. Being an honest hard working system, it couldn’t bring itself to just lay around and do nothing. So it decided to attack something, anything. Knowing me like it did, it had a meeting and came to the conclusion that it would attack the most useless part of me……my brain. (wink) So it rolled on up in there and went to work.
But, being MY immune system, it couldn’t just attack like normal. Oh no! It had to do it in a bizarre fashion. So it went for my cognitive centers. My memory centers and pathways. Smart-ass immune system. On the other hand, it sometimes goes after me in the normal ways too.
As a result of all this I have decided to go back to my unhealthy ways. I’m back to eating the fat on my meat. I’m gonna go barefoot in the summer until it’s just too darn cold to do it anymore. I’m drinking water out of the faucet and if I’m in the yard I’m drinking it out of the hose. Maybe I won’t eat the ice cream off the ground though. I mean, I am almost 50, after all.
Do you see what happens when I’m away too long? I babble. I start on one topic and end on something not even remotely related. But I have this really cool built in excuse. I have drain bamage. Yeah baby! That’s what I’m talkin bout! *sigh* Unfortunately, everyone I know, knows better. *giggle* Oh well, it was a nice try.
But it’s good to be back. I’ll fill you in on what you missed later. Not allof it. Don’t be so nosey! Sheesh!
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Posted by thought4food
July 9, 2007
Yes, thaaaaat’s right. School is STILL out. DAMN SCHOOL! These kids are driving me crazy!
Typical Day
Where are all the popcicles?????
Yall ate 43 of them yesterday. They’re gone.
I didn’t eat them! HE/SHE ate them! (various amounts of violent discord ensues)
That is what they’re there for, you both ate them. Now go play.
Pig!
Hog! (more discord)
Cut that out and go play before I send you to your rooms. (riiiiight! then they will be locked up in here with ME! Fat chance! )
Well when are we going to get some more popcicles? We need some more popcicles. It’s hot, we need popcicles!
tick tick tick hours pass with the incessant questions of popcicles. Finally I cave. We go get popcicles.
Are they frozen yet? No Are they frozen yet? No Are they frozen yet? NO Are they frozen yet? NONONO Are they frozen yet?
*sigh* Yes, thank all the Gods in the Universe! They are frozen!!!!!!!!!!! Hello? Where are you? The popcicles are frozen! Ya want one?
(In unison with a nice four part harmony..) No, I’m tired of popcicles. Do we have any ice cream? *SOB*
Does anyone know when school starts again? Haven’t they been out for a really long time? It starts again soon, right? RIGHT??????????????
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Posted by thought4food
June 9, 2007
Yippee!!!!! School is out! Last day of getting up at 6:00 am. Last day of getting surly children out of a comfy bed way too early in the morning. Last day of picking out clothes the night before. Last day of homework! Woo hoo! Last day of sick day notes. Last day of lunch money.
First day of sleeping in. First day of play clothes. First day of sandwiches for lunch. First day of time at the lake. First day of cartoon marathons. First day of lazy time.
Hmmm….last day of Dr. Phil. Last day of peace and quiet. Last day of time to myself. Last day of no fighting. Last day without non-stop screaming through the house all day long. Last day without MomMomMomMomMomMomMomMomMOMMOMMOMMOM.
DAMN! Last day of school! *sob* 😦
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Posted by thought4food
April 15, 2007
I am at a total loss as to an explanation for sickness. What possible purpose does it serve in the vast scheme of things? Why should we become ill and then get well? Why should we become ill at all? What is the underlying cosmically necessary meaning behind it all?
Couldn’t there have been some other teeny tiny prey for a virus to pounce upon that didn’t live in my body? You would think that either the Higher Power(s) or evolution would have hit upon something! Seriously! There could have been herds of little cow like creatures roaming around in snotty stuff for viruses to feast upon and we would never have been the wiser. Or how about little rodentesque critters scampering around hiding in obscure places for viruses to ferret out?
The viruses could have banded together and made little slaughter houses to deal with the varmints they caught! And for those vegan viruses there could have been little plant stuffies for them to eat. Nutritionally sound if consumed in the proper quantities. Why would that have been a problem? Why didn’t it develope that way? Instead we’re stuck with viruses and an immune system!
The way I see it is this: My body wouldn’t need an immune system if there wasn’t anything for it to be immunized against. So, why sickness? What is it’s purpose? Why not just be well until we die?
We should live long healthy lives until the very moment that we keel over dead. Or at least not get sick until it’s time to die. Yeah! That’s it! We’ll be totally well for all our lives! The only time we get sick will be the one and only time in our lives we will ever be sick. Then……kaplooey! Yer dead.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? Until you’re skipping down the street having the time of your life, and suddenly……ACHOOOOO!
Uh oh! *gulp*
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Posted by thought4food
Thought For Food 