Software Theft

August 7, 2023

I dreamed last night that a former professional wrestler came over our house mad as hell. He was pissed at his friend for stealing something from him.

He had looked and looked for it and finally found it in the dumpster behind his wrestling place. He wanted us to come over and
A. Help him try to retrieve as much as possible
B. Witness the fact that it was there.

So we go. On the way there he explained that it was a computer software theft.
But he had done an investigation and found a lot of it a already.

We go behind the gym and sure enough, we find a dumpster pure STUFFED with this guy’s software! It was still glowing neon blue just like it was when it was still on the computer. This crime scene was Fresh!

The thief had stolen every single drop-down-menu he had! The dumpster was loaded with em! Long ones, short ones, every kind you can think of. All filling this dumpster. He was pulling them out one by one. Some of them were fine but some were all bent and broken. Some were missing pieces.
So now we have to wait for the cops to come and get fingerprints off of em. *sigh*

Cyber crime just ain’t what it used to be.

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Thoughts on Anti and Pro 11/1/2011

November 1, 2011

Anti vs Pro

Antibiotics – Probiotics

antihistamine – Prohistamine

antidepressant – prodepressant

Antidote – prodote

Antibacterial – probacterial

Anticipate – procipate

Antiseptic – proseptic

Antimacassar – promacassar

Antipasto – propasto

Antipathy – propathy

Antigen – progen

Antidisestablishmentarianism – prodisestablishmentarianism 

Antique – proque

Antitheses – protheses

 

Pro vs Anti

Probably – antibably

Probation – antibation

Probe – antibe

Problem – antiblem

Procedure – anticedure

Proceed – anticeed

Profession – antifession

Profane – antifane

Profile – antifile

Profit – antifit

Prohibit – anithibit

Protect – antitect

Profound – anitfound

Project – antiject

 

This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands. 

 

 

 

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Cat Burglers…..Only With Dogs?

March 18, 2009

Okay, this is going to sound soooo strange but I think my two outside dogs have stolen some puppies.  My Dearest Husband and I went to the elementary school today to eat lunch with Princess Bella.  And let me just say……they have rockin lunch!  Anyway, when we came back to the house all of our inside dogs, who we had left outside to enjoy the beautiful weather, were going insane.  They were so discombobulated that they didn’t know whether to wind their watch or scratch their ass!  They were jumping, whining, barking, and just generally milling about in high lather.

I didn’t immediately get it because the inside dogs are insane most of the time anyway.  They are small dogs to begin with, then you have to take into account that they were raised with The Buddha and Princess Bella as daily companions.  Add to that the fact that they spend an inordinate amount of time alone with me and you have the consummate recipe for insanity in all small animals.

However, it did seem odd that outside dogs were totally calm.  They had that suspiciously innocent look on their faces, like…..Whatever could be wrong with them????  That gave me a hinky feeling right there. 

As we’re walking up the walk the little dogs fly into the bushes in the front flower garden.  We looked to see what it was and I was stunned.  There, all curled up and wide eyed with fear, were two of the cutest little puppies!  Normally this wouldn’t have hit me like a sledgehammer, however, we just got rid of fifteen puppies and now here are two more!

It’s like the canine version of Groundhog Day.  I can’t get out of this nightmare.  Every time I think I’m done with the puppy thang, I end up with more of them.  None of this is helped by the fact that Ditto is now hugely pregnant.  *sigh*

I have to add here that this reminds me of my life in general.  Every time I get done raising a child to an acceptable age, I get more of them!  WTF???

But, back to the alleged theft……Jeremiah and Sugar Plum(the outside dogs) are still all calm and serene.  They are NEVER calm and serene.  And here is something even more suspicious……We put all the dogs in the house so that I could get a better look at the new arrivals.  While I was outside trying to coax the puppies out of the bushes, Jeremiah was in the house acting out the fact that he didn’t want me out there alone with his new acquisitions! 

He stood at the door whining and barking.  Then he ran to MDH and looked at him.  Then back to the door.  Then he stood up on his hind legs and watched me out the window.  Then he ran back and put his head in MDH’s lap, ran to the door again and looked pointedly back at him.  Needless to say, he was NOT happy. 

It is my theory that he was worried that I would take those two puppies and not bring them home just like I did the other fifteen.  This in turn leads me to believe that he and Sugar Plum, who had been licking, grooming, playing with, and generally taking care of the puppies while I tried to get them out of the bushes, know what is going on here.  I further believe that they went out and found them a couple of pets of their own. 

All I can do is hope that I don’t get a visit from the law wanting to know if my typewriter matches the one that the ransom note was typed on.  *gulp*   God forbid they come up with a paw print match from the FBI.  Or a DNA match on the paper that the ransom note was written on.  Or worse yet, that we will never find the rightful owners of the two alleged puppies and have to try to find new homes for them too! 

Until then, Jeremiah and Sugar Plum are going to be feeding, walking and pooper scooping.  And I’m not taking no for an answer either!

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2nd Hand Alcohol

June 19, 2008

I’m about to gag myself to death with the latest California brainstorm wanting to ban smoking in apartments and condos. 

Before you EVEN start let me say that YES I smoke.  Yes I know it’s bad for me and you and everyone else in the universe.  I have no problem with not smoking in a restaurant.  I will gladly wait to light up after we all get done eating.  I have no problem not firing up on the airplane.  I get it, OK?  I understand that my choice to smoke is just that…MY choice.  I understand that I have no right to impose MY choice on YOU.  By that same token, you have no right to impose your choice NOT to smoke on ME. 

  I happen to have the opinion that the OWNER of an establishment should have the choice of whether said establishment is smoking or non-smoking.  And that we as consumers have the option of choosing whether or not to patronize that establishment based on that, or any other criteria we want to employ.  If the owner makes his establishment a smoking environment and we choose not to patronize it because of that and his profits then go down, he must either bow to the bottom line and change his mind or he must accept the loss in profits.  On the other hand if his profits do NOT go down, then the opponents of smokers must then suck it up and go off to find a cleaner environment to plot the reduction of rights the citizens of this country can call their own.

I find it cosmically frightening that the citizens of America are blithely watching their rights being whittled away without so much as a whine.  The fight against smokers is only one example, but it is a glaring one.  In the scheme of things I can think of a dozen more rediculously obvious dangers than second hand smoke.  But millions of dollars in cash as well as matching amounts in time and effort are spent making good, decent people feel like second class citizens. 

I, as a smoker, have never driven down the road on a nicotine high and killed innocent people in a head on collision as a direct result of over consumption of cigarettes.  I, as a smoker, have never smoked a six pack of cigarettes and beaten my children because I can’t handle my nicotine anymore.  I, as a smoker, have never given my child brain damage that will last a lifetime because nicotine makes me angry and vindictive and violent every time I light up a cigarette.  But you be sure to ban me from smoking in a BAR!!!!!!!!  We wouldn’t want all those bar patrons who will be out there “drinking responsibly” to suffer from second hand smoke, right?

What am I missing?  I see on the news with sickening frequency stories about multiple teenagers in alcohol related accidents.  Dead, maimed, brain damaged, crippled for life.   And let’s not forget the innocents.  Those folks whose only crime was being on the road at the same time as someone who was drinking and driving.  Not one suggestion of a ban on drinking in apartments and condos.  Not one mention of bans on alcohol anywhere.   Could it be that there are far more lawmakers that drink than smoke?

I have six….yes I said SIX cousins who are orphans because their parents and their oldest brother died from second hand alcohol.  They were killed by a drunk driver as they were returning home from Christmas shopping.  I guess we should be thankful that they didn’t die from second hand smoke, huh?

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Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

January 25, 2008

So, thanks to you all for my 15 minutes of fame.  It’s been heady stuff.  Now I’ll be all into the news looking for some more famous mysteries to solve.  I’ll have to get a Sherlock Holmes hat (I look really good in a hat), one of those ever so cool curvy pipes, and start talking all intelligent and stuff.  It’ll be great.

Then we’ll all sit around here talking about what’s not right with the latest case in the news.  We’ll sip brandy or sherry or port or whatever it is that mystery solvers sip while mystery solving.  We’ll smoke our pipes……….or we’ll light them and then let them go out and light them again which is what it seems to me that pipe smokers do.  Do we need smoking jackets?  Do they even make those anymore?  Yall rich folks can let me know this one.  What are smoking jackets for, anyway?  I never really understood the purpose of that particular garment.

I don’t have any wing-back chairs anymore.  I used to have one but it got burned up in the fire.  It would have been uncomfortable for more that a few of us to try to use it at one time anyway.  It was a fairly small wing back chair and a second hand one at that.  But it wasa wing-back so that counts. 

Maybe someone can invent a blowup wing-back for us.  Then it will be BYOWbC.  I think the blowup part would be implied.  We’ll solve the Black Dahlia case.  That should get us started out good.  Then we’ll be able to pick and choose our cases from there. 

I was listening to Starr Jones on truTV today, formerly known as Court TV, talking about a case in which two attorneys had a client whom they knew to be guilty of a murder.  Another man had been tried and convicted of that crime and was in prison for years on that conviction.  Due to the laws governing attorney/client confidentiality, they were not at liberty to say that this man was in fact NOT guilty of the crime he was in prison for.  The best they were allowed to do was secure from their guilty client a waiver saying that, in the event of his death, they had his permission to divulge his guilt of the murder and secure the release of the innocent man!  Their client eventually did die and they were allowed to release the information.  The innocent man is in the process of getting out of prison now. 

If the two attorneys had said anything at all about the innocent man being innocent before their client had died, they would have been disbarred and probably faced charges for it.  Isn’t that sad?  That doing the right thing to keep an innocent man out of jail would cost people their jobs and possibly send them to jail in the process?   Seems to me like they could have at least been released to say to the investigators or a judge or someone that the man being tried was not the man who committed the crime and that they needed to investigate further. 

However, I can see how that would be like telling on him.  It’s a catch 22 isn’t it?  I wouldn’t have wanted to be in the position of the two attorneys. 

Intyways, as The Buddha says, I just wanted to say thanks for the participation! 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch………

Rocky and I picked the heathens up from the bus stop the other day and took them with us to go shopping.  As we were riding back home we passed the house of one of Bella’s friends.  She calls out, “Hiiiiii Madison!!!!”   Rocky asks, “Does she live in the place with the lighthouse out front?”  Bella has her MP3 player in her ears and probably jacked up to the max, so she only hears part of what Rocky said.  Bella asks, “The lighthouse?” To which I answer, “Yes, the lighthouse out in the yard.”  Bella replies, “Um, NO, Gramma Toe, she doesn’t live in that little lighthouse, she lives in the great big house behind it!”  Then she proceeds to roll her eyes like Rocky has lost her ever lovin mind. 

Now, Rocky and I have possibly the lowest humor threshold on record.  We can be found laughing at almost anything.  The idea that Bella thought that WE thought that her friend was small enough to live in a decorative, four foot high light house that sits on the lawn just had us tickled to no end.  We giggled and snickered and laughed.  We couldn’t even look at each other for hours because every time we did we would collapse in giggles and we couldn’t function. 

And it didn’t help that earlier, after Bella had gotten off her bus but while we were waiting for The Buddha’s bus to get home, she had caught us with another unexpected visual. 

We have a little saying around here when someone passes gas:  Oops!  I stepped on a frog!  Over time we have expanded on this theme with: Oops!  I swallowed a frog!  for when someone burps. 

Well, the kids love this!  And of course being MY grand-kids, they just ain’t right to begin with, so they’ve thought about this a lot.  And Bella is a very visual child.  She comes by this honestly. 

So, we’re waiting for The Buddha’s bus to come rolling down the road and someone who shall remain nameless, but who isn’t me and isn’t Bella, burped.  Bella pipes up with, “Dang Gramma Toe!  That frog crawled right up your butt and out your mouth!”

Rocky couldn’t even catch her breath enough to laugh.  She just kept squeaking.  The impact kept hitting her in waves.  I was half falling out of the truck laughing my ever loving ass right the hell off.  Because all I could see was these two little frog legs just a wiggling, trying to get up in there so they could make that long journey in order to get out Rocky’s mouth.  I haven’t been brave enough to ask Rocky yet just what visual it brought to mind for her, but judging from those squeaks she was making, I can only guess.  I’m going to rest up real good before I ask her.  Maybe take some vitamins.  Because I’m going to get one hell of a workout laughing when she finally tells me.

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Various and Sundry Stuff

November 9, 2007

It’s after three AM and I just got done removing a dumb old Trojan virus from my computer!  I feel violated.  Like someone came into my house and went through my underwear drawer.  *shudder*  How creepy is that???  I’m not sure which is more creepy, having someone standing around snooping through your stuff firsthand or having them be so cowardly that they have to do it from some far off place through wires.  At least I have a fair chance of shooting their buns off if they are standing in my house.  Note to hackers….stop that.  It’s not nice.  Shame on you.

We went to school conferences for report cards.  Now I have to call my mom and apologize for having been a kid again!  Dang all the stuff I did and all my snotty attitudes are sure coming back on me now!  Bella got straight A’s again.  No surprise.  We aren’t counting conduct and social skills here kids.  We are only counting academics.  Bella shines like a super nova in the learning arena.  She intelligent in the extreme and it’s her area of expertise. 

Her ADHD prevents her from getting those nice A’s in conduct though.  Poor kid.  You can literally watch her lose all control of what she’s doing.  I used to have the smart-assed attitude that ADD was truly an attention deficit.  That if her parents just paid some attention to her, she would be fine.  Then she came to live with ME!  Boy did that attitude ever smack me in the butt!  I found out first hand what it was like.

I fought against medicating her for as long as I could.  I didn’t believe in doing it.  I thought it was a cop out.  I thought it was the lazy way to deal with an illness.  I was ate up with a superiority complex.  I got over that.  Poor little Bella would honestly run herself until she fell down from exhaustion.  She would go until she literally could NOT go any more.  Her body would give out. 

It was then that I decided that my high and mighty attitude needed an adjustment and we put her on the medication.  It was an absolute delight to see the difference it made in her.  She could sit down and read a book.  She could finish a sentence.  She could finish a thought.  She could sleep!  It was awesome!  And now she gets those marvelous A’s on her report cards.  Screw the conduct grades.  We’ll deal with those as best we can.  I just love to see the smile on her face when she sees all those A’s.  That means she has succeeded and Bella needs that.

The Buddha is on the A/B honor roll.  This surprises me not one bit.  He is capable of being on the A honor roll every single time.  However, he knows that he can do it and for him, that is enough.  He likes to hear his teachers and me talk about how smart he is and how capable he is.  It makes him feel good.  He likes us to all sit around together telling him how smart he is.  He will do his homework, he just won’t turn it in.  However, he does good enough on his tests that his GPA keeps him on the honor roll even though his report card grades can be C’s and D’s!  It makes my head spin! 

It’s that head spinning part that means I need to call my momma.  Because I remember having exactly the same attitude when I was his age.  I remember being just as capable and just as unwilling to put in the time and effort.  I remember my momma doing everything she could do to convince me that it was important and me thinking that it just really wasn’t.  I figured that as long as I understood the work, it didn’t matter if I turned in homework.  My test scores would be enough.  And I could pull a good test grade out of thin air.  I’m sure I was infuriating, because The Buddha can do that now and it infuriates me!  He can put in minimal effort and get the most amazing good grades for it!  I tell him that I would give him an F for it because I know he tossed it together like a five second salad.  He just laughs.

However, they both got the point, they are both smart kids, and I like to tell myself that I had something to do with that.  I got my mama’s smarts and passed them down.  Okay, so I borrowed them from someone else.  At least I passed them along.  And I didn’t turn out so bad.  I’ve never been to jail. 

I DID get arrested once.  It was really fun!  The deputy and I had a big laugh over the fact that my fingers were the smallest ones he had ever tried to finger print.  I had to roll them myself because I have freakishly small hands and he had big beefy fingers.  And I told them when they took my mug shot, that if I had known I was going to get my picture taken I would have had my hair done that day.  We laughed and joked and had a real good time.  They said they never had more fun arresting anyone before and I said that I never had more fun getting arrested.  They called me on that one though, because I had never been arrested before.  They told me that they were going to make copies of my mug shot because it was the only one they had ever seen with the person smiling so sweetly!  In my defense, I really like new experiences and that was my first time!

It did kinda make me sad though because it ruined my hopes of becoming a spy for the CIA.  They apologized for that.  All in all it was a very pleasant experience considering the fact that I was being arrested for assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill.  The strangest things can happen to you when you have teen-aged daughters!  Just so you know, it never made it to court.  It was tossed out as the ridiculous charge that it was before it ever got there.  However, you can go down to the sheriff’s department and look at the old mug shots and if you see someone smiling like they are having the time of their lives………that’s me!

That all happened about fourteen years ago, but those guys still wave at me when we pass on the street.  We laughed it up about it when I ran the pawn shop and they would come in.  I think I was their favorite “criminal”.  The funny thing was, we were out of town when they came to our house to arrest us, so we rode up to the sheriff’s department and turned ourselves in!  *sigh*  Good times, good times!

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Random Thoughts October 3, 2007

October 4, 2007

Life is perception.  How we perceive an event is our reality of it.  One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.  One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  What you perceive as meaningless, someone else might perceive as the most meaningful thing in their life.  Pay attention to how those important to you perceive the events in your lives.  It counts.

Inaction is an action all by itself.  It indicates indifference on a massive scale. 

Why in the hell would anyone in this country with even ONE functioning brain cell think that Hillary Clinton would make a good president?  This is a woman whose self esteem is so low that she stayed with a man who cheated on her in front of the entire world on more than one occasion.  This can only mean one thing:  He will pay in front of the entire world, and he will pay big!  So, let’s put her in the White House?????  Is she planning on giving her VP a BJ on TV during a State of the Nation Address?  (Do you think I used enough acronyms in that sentence?)  Women who stick around after being treated that way have one thing in mind: revenge.  If Bill is smart (I know, I know, but it’s only a figure of speech) he would do something searingly outrageous and destroy her chances.  It might save his life.  And speaking as a woman myself, I can tell you this: Hillary remembers every one of you who have screwed her over.  You might not even be aware that you did. *see paragraph one*  And you will not get away unscathed either.  Kenneth Star, I’m especially talking to YOU!  She will smile for the cameras while she is listening in her earpiece to them tell her that the “package” has been deposited.  That will be you in the East River wearing a pair of cement overshoes, going to sleep with the fishes.  But only after she has caused them to make you scream like a girl.  Think about it guys.  Women are by far more vicious than men will ever be.  And we never forget a slight.  We certainly never forgive one.  Putting Hillary Clinton in the White House is like dressing up Brittney Spears and putting HER in the White House.  Sounds good, don’t it?

I wonder if the people that Blackwater were hired to guard and protect in Iraq want them gone?  I haven’t heard anyone ask them.  I haven’t heard any of them say.  I would love to hear the answer to those questions.  I also wonder who it was that Blackwater had with them at the time of the last big incident that caused all this hooohaaa.  I hate magicians because I feel like misdirection is inherently dishonest.  So this last big deal over Blackwater makes me wonder who was there and why all the fingers are pointing in so many different directions, but no one is saying who was with them. 

Why are children always at their most obnoxious when my head hurts?#$%^&*

What parents say and what kids hear are two completely different things.  example: Me-“Hi Honey, how was your day?”

Them-“Why R U gettin all up in my KoolAid?”  That wasn’t a good exchange at all was it?  We had no exchange of information, no exchange of pleasantries at all.  That’s because what they hear is not what we said.

Me-how was your day       translation:  What did you do that was wrong or that I’m going to get a call from your school about before the day is through?

No wonder the response is so vehement!  I have no solution for this distortion as yet, however I am working on it and as soon as I perfect the formula, I will put it on a paid programming commercial at 4:45am and you too can have it for 6 easy payments of JUST $19.95 plus shipping and handling! 

When we were kids our dad used to wake us up every morning and whip us before he went to work.  He did this because he knew that before he got home that night we would have done something to deserve it.  He was right.  I’m thinking about reviving that old tradition.  Either that, or take up drinking.  I’m not really sure which way I’m going to go yet.  I’m leaning towards the whipping, but I’m not sure I could stand all that whining and crying.  But after the first time or two, I’d probably cowboy up and stop doing that.  On the other hand, drinking would be so much less work for me.  *sigh*  decisions, decisions

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It’s Been A While…..I’ve Missed You…..Sniff Sniff

September 22, 2007

Okay, that’s it for the sappy emotion. 

 I’ve moved.  I’m now living in a house on top of a hill.  It’s harder than I thought it would be, this not being a slob and all.  When you have a nice house you sorta feel like you should keep it nice.  My own expectations are exhausting me. 

But it’s all bright and white and neat and shit.  And it’s out in the open and the sun shines on me all the time.  Except when the sun doesn’t shine on me.  Then it’s only partly light.  Or else it’s dark.  That happens at some point every day.  Go figger.  Still, it’s very……(I’m searching for an appropriate word here)…..happifying!  That’s a word, right?

I’ve started walking in the mornings after I put Miss Bella and His Highness the Buddha on the bus for school.  *giggle*  School.  I love school.  Anyway, I’ve been trying to get some exercise.  It seems to be working pretty well.  If you don’t count the fact that for the past 3 or 4 days I haven’t really been able to walk.  My hip ballooned up and my jaw on the same side did the same thing.  I had a tooth cut out there recently.  Seriously, you’ve missed a lot.  But I seem to be um, infected.  EW!  I KNOW!  It’s all gross sounding to me too. 

I’m thinking that I might just be allergic to all that healthy crap.  Honest.  See, I wasn’t brought up that way.  We were brought up to be filthy dirty little heathens!  That’s right, Mom!  I’m tellin all the family secrets right here!  We didn’t use hand sanitizer!  We drank sodas ALL THE TIME!  We ate the fat on our meat!  OH YES WE DID!  We ate bacon OFTEN!  I SMOKE!  We drank!  And…..you might want to sit down for this one….sometimes we still do!  We used copious amounts of salt on our food.  We played in dirt.  We played with our friends when they had colds.  We did not know our physicians and their office personnel on a first name basis because we went so often.  As a matter of fact, we went to the doctor’s office so seldom, that a visit there frightened us to bits!  Uh huh that’s right. 

I had my first X-ray when I was 14 years old!  And I was so terrified that I thought I would puke!  I have had many broken bones that were not set.  I have had broken bones that I never went to the doctor for at all.  We ate burgers from Louie’s!  We followed the 5 second rule.  We drank from water fountains, not water bottles.  Sometimes we drank from water hoses too.  If our ice cream fell out of the cone, we picked it up, scraped off whatever trash we could see, and plopped that bad boy back on the cone and ate away!  No sense wasting the perfectly good part of a cone over a little bit of trash!  Sheesh! 

We ate food handled by people who never wore gloves except in the winter when it was really really cold.  But never when they were touching our food.  We sometimes faked washing our hands before we ate.  We walked barefoot from the first snow until the first thaw.  And truth be told, if it wasn’t for caffeine and nicotine I would be in a coma. 

But until I started trying to be more “healthy” I was in fact healthy as the proverbial horse.  The healthier I tried to live, the unhealthier I became. 

I developed……….(insert doomsday music here) MS.  My theory is this.  As I started to live a more healthy lifestyle, my hyped up immune system had less and less legitimate work to do.  Being an honest hard working system, it couldn’t bring itself to just lay around and do nothing.  So it decided to attack something, anything.  Knowing me like it did, it had a meeting and came to the conclusion that it would attack the most useless part of me……my brain.  (wink)  So it rolled on up in there and went to work. 

But, being MY immune system, it couldn’t just attack like normal.  Oh no!  It had to do it in a bizarre fashion.  So it went for my cognitive centers.  My memory centers and pathways.  Smart-ass immune system.  On the other hand, it sometimes goes after me in the normal ways too. 

As a result of all this I have decided to go back to my unhealthy ways.  I’m back to eating the fat on my meat.  I’m gonna go barefoot in the summer until it’s just too darn cold to do it anymore.  I’m drinking water out of the faucet and if I’m in the yard I’m drinking it out of the hose.  Maybe I won’t eat the ice cream off the ground though.  I mean, I am almost 50, after all. 

Do you see what happens when I’m away too long?  I babble.  I start on one topic and end on something not even remotely related.  But I have this really cool built in excuse.  I have drain bamage.  Yeah baby!  That’s what I’m talkin bout!  *sigh*  Unfortunately, everyone I know, knows better.  *giggle*  Oh well, it was a nice try. 

But it’s good to be back.  I’ll fill you in on what you missed later.  Not allof it.  Don’t be so nosey!  Sheesh! 

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Thoughts for the day

July 11, 2007

Global Warming Sucks.

What’s UP with the people in the van in Texas who gave the little girl X, then put a video of her tripping on the internet?  It takes a special kind of stupid to do that!  But it is more and more common to find video of idiots doing idiotic things on the net, isn’t it?  Sad, sad, sad.  On the other hand it makes the job of law enforcement so much easier doesn’t it?  And it was ever so helpful of them to include the Christian radio call letters, too!  Kinda made me want to spit up on that one.   Criminy!?@#

Nancy Grace cracks me up every time!  She’s a spunky little broad, that one.

Pedophiles should get an automatic death sentence.  No parole, no second chance, no life sentence, no nothing.  They are unable to be rehabilitated by their own admission as well as statistically, not to mention by proof of all the previous sex offenders who are out there offending again.  We don’t have to go into all the names.  You know them.  Automatic death sentence.  Just add water and Poof!  Problem solved.

What is the matter with Robert Kennedy Jr.’s voice, anyway?  Dude always sounds like he’s about to cry or hack up a lung or something.  Ick.

Those dang ol Lowes stores have way too much cool stuff for your house.  I get all discombobulated in there.  I get way too many ideas in my head at one time.  My ADHD gets all hyped up and it kick starts my MS and that aggravates my ectopic cerebellar tonsils which leads me to suddenly go stupid.  I went in there with My Dearest Husband to get a hook to hang up a wooden thingie with our name on it, on the front of our house.  This is going to take the place of him pissing off the back porch.  *wink*  So, since we’re there, I take Bella and go look for some pretty Portulaca’s to hang on the front porch, you know, to accentuate the wooden name plate.  On our way to meet up with My Dearest Husband, we pass a really cool garden tub, which would fit perfectly in the bathroom.  But, hey!  Look!  There are the perfect shelves right over there that we need to put in Bella’s closet to kinda keep her overflow of stuffcrapjunkpaperscrapsbitspuffswhispswhatsitswhositsyouknowwhatsthingies in check.  And….right over there is a great deal on a counter top that someone special ordered and returned that would fit perfectly in the new kitchen!  Woo Hoo!  Whoa!  Lookit that!  It’s that great chalkboard paint that I wanted for the kids rooms!  How cool would it be for me to paint their walls so that they COULD write on em?  Eh?  I’d be the coolest, right?  Oh no it isn’t!  Yes it is!  It’s erasable marker paint!  Holy Crap!  AND Magnetic paint too!  OMG!  I’m gonna be the best mom in town!  Hmmm  I’m starting to feel kinda dizzy.  I hate checkerboard floors.  My heart is beating really really fast now.  How come everything seems to be moving in and out like a zoom lens is on my eyes?  Ok, time to go.  What?  Oh, no, I don’t want to buy anything.  I just wanna go home.  Suddenly I don’t feel so good.  Dang ol Lowes store. 

Iced Tiger Spiced Chai is the best drink in the world when it’s hot outside.

You should always marry your best friend.  However, if your best friend is the same sex as you and you are heterosexual, disregard this advice.  Also, if your best friend is of the opposite sex, and you are gay, disregard this advice.  Otherwise, take it.  And if I forgot any other exceptions, use yer noggin and figure them out.  I have brain damage, don’t let me do your thinking for you! 

I’m sleepy and I’m going to bed.

Oh!  And I’m sending His Highness the Buddha and Miss Bella back to day camp for the rest of the week.  It’s only three days but by golly I’ll take what I can get!  I’m giddy with anticipation!  Be happy for me! 

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School is STILL Out

July 9, 2007

Yes, thaaaaat’s right.  School is STILL out.  DAMN SCHOOL!  These kids are driving me crazy!

Typical Day

Where are all the popcicles?????  

Yall ate 43 of them yesterday.  They’re gone. 

I didn’t eat them!  HE/SHE ate them!  (various amounts of violent discord ensues) 

 That is what they’re there for, you both ate them.  Now go play. 

Pig! 

Hog!  (more discord) 

 Cut that out and go play before I send you to your rooms.  (riiiiight!  then they will be locked up in here with ME!  Fat chance! )  

 Well when are we going to get some more popcicles?  We need some more popcicles.  It’s hot, we need popcicles! 

 tick tick tick   hours pass with the incessant questions of popcicles.  Finally I cave.  We go get popcicles. 

 Are they frozen yet?  No  Are they frozen yet?  No  Are they frozen yet?  NO  Are they frozen yet?  NONONO  Are they frozen yet? 

*sigh*  Yes, thank all the Gods in the Universe!  They are frozen!!!!!!!!!!!   Hello?  Where are you?  The popcicles are frozen!  Ya want one? 

(In unison with a nice four part harmony..)  No, I’m tired of popcicles.  Do we have any ice cream?   *SOB*

Does anyone know when school starts again?  Haven’t they been out for a really long time?  It starts again soon, right?  RIGHT??????????????

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