Thought For Food

It’s after three AM and I just got done removing a dumb old Trojan virus from my computer!  I feel violated.  Like someone came into my house and went through my underwear drawer.  *shudder*  How creepy is that???  I’m not sure which is more creepy, having someone standing around snooping through your stuff firsthand or having them be so cowardly that they have to do it from some far off place through wires.  At least I have a fair chance of shooting their buns off if they are standing in my house.  Note to hackers….stop that.  It’s not nice.  Shame on you.

We went to school conferences for report cards.  Now I have to call my mom and apologize for having been a kid again!  Dang all the stuff I did and all my snotty attitudes are sure coming back on me now!  Bella got straight A’s again.  No surprise.  We aren’t counting conduct and social skills here kids.  We are only counting academics.  Bella shines like a super nova in the learning arena.  She intelligent in the extreme and it’s her area of expertise. 

Her ADHD prevents her from getting those nice A’s in conduct though.  Poor kid.  You can literally watch her lose all control of what she’s doing.  I used to have the smart-assed attitude that ADD was truly an attention deficit.  That if her parents just paid some attention to her, she would be fine.  Then she came to live with ME!  Boy did that attitude ever smack me in the butt!  I found out first hand what it was like.

I fought against medicating her for as long as I could.  I didn’t believe in doing it.  I thought it was a cop out.  I thought it was the lazy way to deal with an illness.  I was ate up with a superiority complex.  I got over that.  Poor little Bella would honestly run herself until she fell down from exhaustion.  She would go until she literally could NOT go any more.  Her body would give out. 

It was then that I decided that my high and mighty attitude needed an adjustment and we put her on the medication.  It was an absolute delight to see the difference it made in her.  She could sit down and read a book.  She could finish a sentence.  She could finish a thought.  She could sleep!  It was awesome!  And now she gets those marvelous A’s on her report cards.  Screw the conduct grades.  We’ll deal with those as best we can.  I just love to see the smile on her face when she sees all those A’s.  That means she has succeeded and Bella needs that.

The Buddha is on the A/B honor roll.  This surprises me not one bit.  He is capable of being on the A honor roll every single time.  However, he knows that he can do it and for him, that is enough.  He likes to hear his teachers and me talk about how smart he is and how capable he is.  It makes him feel good.  He likes us to all sit around together telling him how smart he is.  He will do his homework, he just won’t turn it in.  However, he does good enough on his tests that his GPA keeps him on the honor roll even though his report card grades can be C’s and D’s!  It makes my head spin! 

It’s that head spinning part that means I need to call my momma.  Because I remember having exactly the same attitude when I was his age.  I remember being just as capable and just as unwilling to put in the time and effort.  I remember my momma doing everything she could do to convince me that it was important and me thinking that it just really wasn’t.  I figured that as long as I understood the work, it didn’t matter if I turned in homework.  My test scores would be enough.  And I could pull a good test grade out of thin air.  I’m sure I was infuriating, because The Buddha can do that now and it infuriates me!  He can put in minimal effort and get the most amazing good grades for it!  I tell him that I would give him an F for it because I know he tossed it together like a five second salad.  He just laughs.

However, they both got the point, they are both smart kids, and I like to tell myself that I had something to do with that.  I got my mama’s smarts and passed them down.  Okay, so I borrowed them from someone else.  At least I passed them along.  And I didn’t turn out so bad.  I’ve never been to jail. 

I DID get arrested once.  It was really fun!  The deputy and I had a big laugh over the fact that my fingers were the smallest ones he had ever tried to finger print.  I had to roll them myself because I have freakishly small hands and he had big beefy fingers.  And I told them when they took my mug shot, that if I had known I was going to get my picture taken I would have had my hair done that day.  We laughed and joked and had a real good time.  They said they never had more fun arresting anyone before and I said that I never had more fun getting arrested.  They called me on that one though, because I had never been arrested before.  They told me that they were going to make copies of my mug shot because it was the only one they had ever seen with the person smiling so sweetly!  In my defense, I really like new experiences and that was my first time!

It did kinda make me sad though because it ruined my hopes of becoming a spy for the CIA.  They apologized for that.  All in all it was a very pleasant experience considering the fact that I was being arrested for assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill.  The strangest things can happen to you when you have teen-aged daughters!  Just so you know, it never made it to court.  It was tossed out as the ridiculous charge that it was before it ever got there.  However, you can go down to the sheriff’s department and look at the old mug shots and if you see someone smiling like they are having the time of their lives………that’s me!

That all happened about fourteen years ago, but those guys still wave at me when we pass on the street.  We laughed it up about it when I ran the pawn shop and they would come in.  I think I was their favorite “criminal”.  The funny thing was, we were out of town when they came to our house to arrest us, so we rode up to the sheriff’s department and turned ourselves in!  *sigh*  Good times, good times!