Thought For Food

I remember the first time I noticed my mother’s hands attached to the end of my arms.  It was quite a shock.  I couldn’t figure out what they were doing there.  I closed my eyes and opened them again, and sure enough, they were still there! 

What were my mother’s hands doing on the end of my arms?  Strangely enough, they were doing all the same things they always did, only now they were doing them for MY daughter instead of hers.  They were brushing her hair, drying her tears, bandaging skinned knees, clapping at school plays, helping with homework, sewing Halloween costumes, hugging her goodnight, teaching her to swim, and just giving her encouragement.

It was very comforting to have them there.  Like they knew what they were doing.  And sometimes when I looked in the mirror it was like having Momma there with me, helping me do my makeup or helping me with my hair.

I guess it can be a bad thing when you realize that you have “grown up”, but for me it was a comfort.  It was finally time to stop being rebellious and start being who I was supposed to be.  Who I really wanted to be all along.  No more having to come up with a reason to be mad.  No more having to figure out a way to be contrary.  No more having to be surly.  No more being angry at my mom for no good reason.  I finally got to just LIKE her!  YIPPEE!!!  I get to want to be with my mom now!!!  WHEW!

I was in my mid twenties when my mother’s hands appeared on the end of my arms.  My mother came to my attention as a separate human being from me when she was that age, and I paid special attention to everything about her at that point.  My mom will forever be in her mid twenties in my eyes. Those awful years between childhood and momma’s hands were miserable.  As soon as I got momma’s hands, I was fine.  She was  back with me again and things were as they should be.  I’ve never asked anyone before but is this the way it works?  Or is it just me?