If you don’t have anything good to say……don’t say anything at all. Which is why I haven’t been here. That plus the fact that nobody likes a whiner. I’ll see you later.
PS……Danny Vice……I’m entering YOUR contest! I want that prize some kinda bad!!!!!!!
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Posted by thought4food
My Dearest Husband occasionally brings home biscuits for breakfast. Since he works 3rd shift and he passes every food place in town on the way home he can do this without too much trouble. He does it just often enough to make it special. We all love it.
Today he brought us home biscuits for breakfast. Bella got her usual chicken biscuit. She, according to her, will only eat fried chicken. Having said this, I can cut up anything at all and tell her it’s fried chicken and she will then eat it. Anyway, she loves chicken biscuits, so MDH got her one.
When she woke up to her’s she was ecstatic! She asked where it came from. MDH, never one to tell a simple story, told her that Lassie woke up this morning. Sensing that Bella would be jonesing for a chicken biscuit for breakfast, Lassie ran down the road to the store and whined. The store keeper listened to Lassie and said, “What, Lassie? Bella is hungry? And she needs a biscuit?” To which Lassie whined some more. The shopkeeper listened again then said, “What, Lassie? Not just any old biscuit will do? Bella has to have a fried chicken biscuit? Okay then, I’ll make her one right away!”
Lassie whined to the shopkeeper some more. To which the shopkeeper replied, “What did you say Lassie? Toss in four more biscuits?” Lassie whined a bit more. The shopkeeper said, “Any old biscuits will do for the rest of the family, eh? Okay Lassie. Should I just put this on your bill?”
Lassie whined one last time and the shopkeeper said, “You’re welcome, Lassie. You have a great day too!” Then he handed Lassie the bag of biscuits and Lassie ran out the door just as MDH pulled up. Lassie jumped in the truck and they pulled out and drove home together. They got there just in time to surprise Bella with a piping hot fried chicken biscuit just as she woke up for breakfast!
After listening to this whole long story in wide eyed wonder, Bella’s only reply was, “Who is Lassie?”
*sigh*
For those of you too young to remember, Lassie was the single most intelligent being on a farm in TV land back in the LONG AGO. The family he lived with THOUGHT they were smart but Lassie had them all beat in the smarts department by a country mile. And every human for miles around understood that when Lassie came whining it meant that some dumb ass had gotten themselves into trouble. The dumb ass was usually Timmy, Lassie’s “owner”. There is some controversy as to who actually owned whom. Considering the fact that Lassie took way better care of Timmy than Timmy took of Lassie, I feel that Lassie was the dominant character here. That’s just my opinion.
Also, Lassie could convey vast amounts of information in that whine. It was amazing! All my dogs can do is look at me stupidly then five seconds later pee on my floor. There is none of that “Lassie” type of information-passing going on here. I mean, if Bella or The Buddha were to fall into a well, I would find out about it because all of the dogs would be milling about aimlessly near the well. No one would come to me whining in a meaningful way. No one would come to me and bark out that I needed to get a rope to pull them out, no not a hemp rope, a nylon rope. They might come and lift their leg on my foot just for kicks and giggles but that’s about the extent of it.
DeeDee can do some tricks. If I say we’re going to be rich, she will stick her nose up in the air. If I tell her that daddy farted, she will cover her face with her paws. She can sit, stand, lay down, dance and box. That’s it. No saving lives, no communicating complex information, no giving directions to out of the way places. Just your average everyday dogs.
Lassie was one of a kind. Google her. Maybe we can get a Lassie revival going. Because to be honest, it made me feel old as hell when Bella asked that question. And I didn’t like it. Not one little bit!
Leave a Comment » | Children, Family, Kids, life, Random, Uncategorized, Whining | Tagged: Chicken Biscuit, dogs, Lassie, Lassie and Timmy | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
I’m about to gag myself to death with the latest California brainstorm wanting to ban smoking in apartments and condos.
Before you EVEN start let me say that YES I smoke. Yes I know it’s bad for me and you and everyone else in the universe. I have no problem with not smoking in a restaurant. I will gladly wait to light up after we all get done eating. I have no problem not firing up on the airplane. I get it, OK? I understand that my choice to smoke is just that…MY choice. I understand that I have no right to impose MY choice on YOU. By that same token, you have no right to impose your choice NOT to smoke on ME.
I happen to have the opinion that the OWNER of an establishment should have the choice of whether said establishment is smoking or non-smoking. And that we as consumers have the option of choosing whether or not to patronize that establishment based on that, or any other criteria we want to employ. If the owner makes his establishment a smoking environment and we choose not to patronize it because of that and his profits then go down, he must either bow to the bottom line and change his mind or he must accept the loss in profits. On the other hand if his profits do NOT go down, then the opponents of smokers must then suck it up and go off to find a cleaner environment to plot the reduction of rights the citizens of this country can call their own.
I find it cosmically frightening that the citizens of America are blithely watching their rights being whittled away without so much as a whine. The fight against smokers is only one example, but it is a glaring one. In the scheme of things I can think of a dozen more rediculously obvious dangers than second hand smoke. But millions of dollars in cash as well as matching amounts in time and effort are spent making good, decent people feel like second class citizens.
I, as a smoker, have never driven down the road on a nicotine high and killed innocent people in a head on collision as a direct result of over consumption of cigarettes. I, as a smoker, have never smoked a six pack of cigarettes and beaten my children because I can’t handle my nicotine anymore. I, as a smoker, have never given my child brain damage that will last a lifetime because nicotine makes me angry and vindictive and violent every time I light up a cigarette. But you be sure to ban me from smoking in a BAR!!!!!!!! We wouldn’t want all those bar patrons who will be out there “drinking responsibly” to suffer from second hand smoke, right?
What am I missing? I see on the news with sickening frequency stories about multiple teenagers in alcohol related accidents. Dead, maimed, brain damaged, crippled for life. And let’s not forget the innocents. Those folks whose only crime was being on the road at the same time as someone who was drinking and driving. Not one suggestion of a ban on drinking in apartments and condos. Not one mention of bans on alcohol anywhere. Could it be that there are far more lawmakers that drink than smoke?
I have six….yes I said SIX cousins who are orphans because their parents and their oldest brother died from second hand alcohol. They were killed by a drunk driver as they were returning home from Christmas shopping. I guess we should be thankful that they didn’t die from second hand smoke, huh?
3 Comments | Blogroll, Funny, Health, Home, Humor, life, Links, Seeing Red, Thoughts, Whining | Tagged: drunk driver, Second hand alcohol | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Riiiiiight. Sniff……….Sniff…………Anyone smell something fishy here besides me? If there is a legitimate reason for the outrageous price we’re paying for gasoline at the pump right now, why in the world are the oil companies making unprecedented profits???
I can save the government alot of trouble. The last time this happened and we had a FAKE gasoline shortage, this was back in the seventies, and the oil companies made out like bandits by raping us all, the government got their cut by passing the “Windfall Profits Tax.”
All they have to do is dust that old thing off and make a few minor adjustments and it will serve for this fake bunch of crap too. Because the fact of the matter is, there is absolutely NO reason for the price of gasoline to be rising. There is no less oil coming out of the ground now than there was five years ago. The only person psychotic enough to cut off his nose to spite his face and stop producing oil in his country was pulled out of a hole in the ground and hung quite some time ago.
But just like the war in Iraq and Afghanistan (remember Afghanistan? We’re still fighting over there! Does anyone know WHY?), the oil companies are in the habit now and they just can’t seem to stop raising prices. Plus, we as a nation are rolling over like beta dogs and pissing all over ourselves while the oil companies and our government growl and show us their teeth so they have no reason to do any different.
I find it very interesting that our government will take a cut of the unprecedented profits, but they won’t bother to wonder WHY there were unprecedented profits to begin with. It’s hard for me to teach my kids to be honest in their lives, to teach them that playing fair is the best way to go, when the government of our country encourages large corporations to lie and cheat just to that they themselves can take a cut of the loot produced by that immoral activity.
Wait! I just figured it out! I bet they will use those “unprecedented profits” to fund “Homeland Security!” Damn. Now I feel all unpatriotic and shit. My bad.
8 Comments | life, news | Tagged: Gas prices, Gasoline prices, Homeland Security, taxes, unprecedented profits | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Princess Bella has “ADHD” or Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.
Let me take a pause here to decide just where to start this blog, because I have so many things to say and I’m not sure just what order I want to put them in. Hey there’s a bird out there picking on the dogs! Cool! Anyways, as I was saying, I think they totally misnamed this stuff.
People with ADD and ADHD do not have a deficiency of attention. What they have is an overabundance of attention. Their attention is captured by EVERYTHING at all times! They don’t miss anything at all. There is not one thing that goes on in this universe that they miss. It might not make the top 10 on the list of important things they give notice to, but they didn’t miss it, I guarantee you!
What happens is, they don’t focus on the things that other people want them to focus on. This is not a deficiency. This is a failure to come to an agreement on what constitutes the most important thing. That is a whole other ballgame.
It is my own personal opinion that ADD and ADHD are old …….. for lack of a better word…..conditions. And I use the word condition here NOT in the sense that it is something that needs to be “fixed”, but that it is possibly outside the norm. I believe that we can lay our very existence at the feet of someone back in the misty long ago who was blessed with ADD or ADHD.
I say this because…..imagine this: Our little cave-group is sitting around the fire in our pitiful cave, noshing on a few ptarmigan, all happy and stuff. All of a sudden…..GROWLLLLL…..SNARLLLL!!!!….and whatever other mean nasty things happen when a sabre tooth tiger comes skulking out of the dark. EEEKKKK!
Now! Who do you want in your midst most: The cave-dude with ADD/ADHD who’s gonna whack that sabre tooth over the head with a big ol club, or the logical thinker who is going to weigh all the consequences of his actions before he does anything? MY vote goes for the ADD/ADHD guy! I believe with all my being that it was those people who acted first without thinking it all out, whose attention was on everything, who were watching it ALL and not missing anything, that not only kept us alive but advanced us to the point that we can now consider their gift a problem and chastise them for it.
Because it is only now, at the advanced point our civilization has reached, that the gifts of ADD/ADHD become a “problem.” Only now do we have to sit un-naturally still for hours on end as small children day in and day out for months at a time. Only now do we have jobs that require us to be indoors all day long every day all year long. Only now does the watchfulness and quick action inherent in ADD/ADHD become unnecessary.
Instead of calling ADD/ADHD a problem or making people with it feel broken, we need to name streets after them, have a national ADD/ADHD holiday, and celebrate the fact that it exists at all. Because without it, we very well might not be here at all!
4 Comments | ADD, ADHD, Children, Crazy, Kids, life, Random, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged: ADD, ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, caveman, civilization | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
I like to watch My Dearest Husband really concentrating on something he’s working on. I love that look on his face for some reason. It touches my heart every time.
Small kids and puppies always make me feel like whatever I’m doing is really interesting and important. They follow me around and watch me intently, no matter what I’m doing. If I’m taking out the trash, I feel like I should do it with the utmost care because they are watching and I don’t want to set a bad example. This is why the puppies are NOT allowed in the bathroom. I just can’t take the pressure.
The sun coming up in the morning is one of my favorite things. Makes me feel good to know that the trusty steed made the journey safely through the night.
I like seeing the moon in the sky during the daylight hours. It gives me the oobla dooblas. You know what I mean? Those cave man shivers over freaky things.
I like dusk. That time of day after sunset but before it gets dark. It’s an in-between time and it seems sort of magical to me. There are possibilities in that little pocket of time that isn’t either one.
I like the in-betweens. Like birds and turtles and frogs. They live in two worlds but not totally in either. Land and sea or land and air. And people in comas, or with amnesia. There but not there. Gone but not gone, here but not here.
I like the long, slow, hot summer days that seem like they will never end.
I like chilly mornings with a hot cup of coffee, a nice warm throw, and MDH on the porch swing. Dogs all lazy at our feet, the kids still asleep in their beds and us just enjoying each other in the quiet of the morning.
I like my guitar.
I like Phil, my iPod that I got for Mother’s day.
I like walking out back to visit Rocky, my mom, at her place. I haven’t been able to visit my mom just whenever I wanted to since I was eighteen years old. That’s a long time.
I like reading several books at one time. That way, when I hit a slow spot in one, I can pick up another one.
I like reference books. I like school books. I like history books. I like fiction. I like kids books. I like soup cans. I like cereal boxes. I will read anything in print. I used to read in my dreams. I have no idea what I was reading but I surely did read.
I love the sound of children laughing. I love the sound of them making plans. I love the sound of them playing. I even love the sound of them crying. All of those sounds mean they are alive and that means there is hope.
I like firemen.
I like ambulance drivers.
I like watching my grandkids playing together when they think no one is watching. That is true magic.
I like flowers and herbs. I especially like the ones with more than one purpose. I like the ones you can use for medicinal purposes. In a past life (not the karmic kind, I mean when I was younger), I used to go out into the woods and gather them up and dry them out and use them on my family and myself. It was way cheaper than going to the doctor and most of the time it worked as well as the fantastically priced chemicals they prescribed. I still do that sometimes and I’m starting to get back into it a little bit. They used to call me a witch doctor.
I love:
The smell of fresh cut grass.
The smell of a grill in summer. You know something good is about to happen.
The smell of a lumber yard. Sorry, I’m not quite that green yet. That smell gets me every time.
I love a good story. There is something about a well told story that just warms my cockles.
I’m an oddball. Ask anyone. They’ll tell you. I don’t eat seafood of any kind because it feels like cannibalism to me. See? Told ya! But I’m a harmless oddball. Anyway, those are a few of my favorite things. Sorry but I don’t have the talent to set mine to music like that other person did.
1 Comment | Daily Life, Family, life | Tagged: Favorite things | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Just wanted to share with you a little glimpse of the surprises I keep getting up here on the hill this spring. It’s my first year here and I have no idea what is going to pop up next!
2 Comments | gardening, life, Random, Spring | Tagged: flowers, gardening, Roses, Spring | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
I think people today have the wrong idea about what “nice” is.
I cannot convince my kids that setting boundaries with other people isn’t mean. Let me give you a hypothetical conversation to illustrate.
Daughter: We split up. I feel bad about it because he really wants us to stay together but I just don’t love him anymore. Now he won’t leave me alone. He calls me all 50 times a day, he comes to my work and causes trouble and I’m about to get fired, I just don’t know what to do.
Me: It’s my opinion that any contact you have with him at this point is only encouraging him to believe that there is still a chance for the two of you. Are you sure that there isn’t?
Daughter: Absolutely NO chance. I really tried. I don’t hate him, but I just don’t love him anymore.
Me: I think the best thing right now would be just to tell him that you have to stop having any contact with him. There isn’t any reason to talk to him. If you’re done, it’s only dragging out his agony to continue. Simply tell him its over and stop taking his calls.
Daughter: But that’s so mean!
Me: What’s mean about telling him the truth?
Daughter: Well it sounds so harsh.
Me: It’s not harsh, it’s called honest and to the point without alot of superfluous crap added in. Set your boundaries and stick to them. The sooner you do that the sooner he will get it and move on.
Daughter: It just sounds so mean to drop him like that. I don’t want to be mean to him, I just want him to go away and leave me alone!
Me: And you think that the way to accomplish that is to continue talking to him? As long as you do that without setting limits, he will think that you’re doing it because there is still something left for him to say or do to get you back.
Daughter: I don’t want him back, but I don’t want to be mean to him either.
< insert the sound of me banging my head against a brick wall here>
Since when is honesty mean? Since when is setting boundaries mean? Since when is setting limits mean?
Why is it that people suddenly believe that they should sacrifice their own peace of mind on the alter of someone else’s hopeless dream? That doesn’t make sense to me. That kind of “nice” is inherently dishonest. That kind of “nice” is meanness in its worst and most underhanded form, because it delays the inevitable and holds out false hope. What it really is, is the refusal to stand up and take the heat for your own feelings now, by putting the other person off until they end things themselves because they feel the dishonesty and can’t tolerate it. It’s cowardice.
My definition of being nice is being honest even if it isn’t the most comfortable thing at the moment. It saves hard feelings later on down the road.
If I know what my limits are, but I refuse to tell you, then I have no room for complaint if you cross them.
So how is setting limits mean? I just don’t get it. What’s so “nice” about dishonesty?
Leave a Comment » | life, Random, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged: being nice, boundaries, limits, nice | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Speaking of words…..not that we were……But anyway
Let’s play with words today, just because I’m bored and I have nothing better to do except housework and I avoid that like the plague.
Grumptious-Someone who is grumpy but in a delicious way.
Wit for Brains – Some one who is witty but in a shitty way. Shittily witty. Or wittily shitty.
Bother in-law – An in-law (or out-law) that won’t leave you alone. This one is a unisexual term that can be used for all in-laws of any persuasion.
Pooppees – It’s what puppies are until they are housetrained. Count on it, I know!
Crapromise – That’s a promise someone makes but they have no intention of keeping it.
Crampromise – Along those same lines, a compromise that never really pans out.
Alright, I ran out already. But I just got to thinking about the word “bill”. It can be someone’s name, it can be the long hangie-out piece on the front of a hat, it can be the really long hard lips on the face of a fowl or a platypus, it can be something you send to congress, or it can be something you have to pay. We really make our words work hard don’t we?
I love words. They are some of my favorite people. And since my brain got smushed, they have become a source of endless amusement for many people, including me. For instance, the time at the Pawn Shop, in June, when a customer was leaving and I told him to have a Happy Thanksgiving. I have NO idea where that came from. I was trying to tell him to have a good weekend. My brain has a mind of its own, though. That’s probably why I told another customer to have a good idea instead of a good afternoon! Although having a good idea is never a bad idea, after all. And then there was the time I was trying to tell someone about Princess Bella’s latest accomplishment. “She can ride a horse without training wheels” Hmmm No, that’s not quite right is it? I tried it three times and bike came out horse every time. Finally Bella had to say it for me.
Now you’re going to see a horse with training wheels all day long aren’t you? *giggle* Good! Me too! Now, at least I won’t be the only one!
It just goes to show you, a word is worth a thousand pictures.
1 Comment | Crazy, life, Random, Uncategorized | Tagged: word play, words | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Today is The Buddha’s birthday. He’s officially a teenager now. Thirteen. *sigh*
This means he is eligible for being locked up in that cave on the outskirts of town until he becomes fit for human company again.
There are times when he is fun, funny, warm, caring, witty and charming. Then there are those other times. Those times when he is “talking” and all I can hear are the howls of wild animals and all I can see are the jumping flames of his campfire reflected off the cave walls. Then he turns back into that sweet kid again and the howling beasts are just the puppies playing and the campfire is really just the sun.
Teenage years are a schizophrenic time. Lord I need some severe counseling to get me through it this time! I’m not near young enough to be doing this again!
But I digress. The birthday went well today. It was just a small family thingie. We had food from the new Taco Hell/KFC, to quote MDH, who took Buddha there to get dinner. MDH has a hate/hate relationship with KFC anyway. He can’t tolerate the fact that you can get chicken nuggets at any fast food joint in town except the one place that sells chicken exclusively. It chaps his ass in the extreme. I guess now they will have an excuse. They will be too busy making all those burritos & tacos to have time for nuggets.
He got a few gifts that he liked. His faves were the digi camera and the digi photo album. The first picture he put in there was one of the only ones we have left of his baby brother, who died. That thing paid for itself that instant.
Princess Bella was suitably jealous and grumpy. She hates it when it’s not all about her. I feel her. I always did too on my brothers’ birthdays. There was only one of me and three of them and I had to wade through all of their birthdays before I got to mine. I always felt the good stuff dwindling away as their birthdays went by. It seemed like there wouldn’t be any good stuff left for me by the time MY birthday came around.
I blew up helium balloons, laughed like evil Donald Duck when I inhaled it, put up a banner, etc, etc. It was fun. And thank goodness it’s over. Now I can go back to being a slacker-grandma.
I had a thought today while I was watching the news: Why is it that we carry around hand sanitizer by the 55 gallon drum, but the new trend is to kiss each other? WTF is up with that? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose? I mean, if I don’t want to get all infested with your germs, then do I really want your mouth on my face, for God’s sake? I think not!
I’m not even one of the super dooper hyper clean germophobes and I still don’t want folks slobbering all over my damn cheeks! It’s just nasty. I reserve that for my family and a very very few super close friends. And the friends are only under the mistletoe at Christmas when I’m drunk. Or at a party under pretend mistletoe when I’m drunk. *giggle* I’m just kidding.
And sometimes babies, although if I were the baby’s parents I wouldn’t want people slobbering all over my baby either. It just seems like a bad idea. I mean, here they are, zero, no built up immunity yet, and some joker with the plague decides to come play smoochie face with them. YUK! Note to all my friends with new babies: I will hold your baby, I will make goofy faces at your baby, I will get down on the floor and play with your baby on their level, I will talk to your baby in their own language, I will even cry with your baby (this is the brain damage, pay no attention), but I will not-I repeat-I will NOT kiss all over their face. End of announcement.
P.S. I will also try very hard not to let them suck on my fingers, because (again-the brain damage) I have no idea where I’ve been.
2 Comments | Children, Family, Kids, life, Random | Tagged: Baby, Balloon, Birthdays, Cake, Kissing | Permalink
Posted by thought4food
Thought For Food 